This One's for YOU

Yes, YOU

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

I see you.

I hear you.

I feel your pain.

I know you’re hurting, wondering why things happen the way they do; why nothing ever works out for you. You’re wondering why you were even born, because obviously you have no reason for being on this planet. It would be easier if you just didn’t exist.

At the risk of sounding negative, you are wrong.

There is a reason you are here, even if you can’t see it. You are precious, and valuable, and worthy, just as you are.

I know it doesn’t feel like it. The bills are overdue, the relationship is dead, the job sucks (if you can even find a job), and life is just hard. You can’t see a way out, so it’s easy to believe there isn’t one.

Your feelings are getting you down, dragging you into the depths of despair. You try to fight them, but it’s not working.

You honestly have no idea what to do next. And you’re not sure why you should even bother.

STOP. Take one minute, and just STOP. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Another deep breath.. Exhale again.

Breathe in….exhale.

First thing is to breathe. Always remember to breathe. Slow, calming breaths.

Next, remind yourself that feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They just are.

The absolute best way to deal with feelings is to let yourself feel them. But don’t get stuck there. Don’t wallow. Acknowledging or naming the feeling is not the same as wallowing in it.

“I feel worthless right now.” It’s ok to say that, if that’s what you’re feeling. That’s acknowledging your feelings. Nothing wrong with that, whether you’re saying it to yourself or to another person. When we acknowledge our feelings, it’s easier to deal with them. When we bury them, or try to hide them, they get stronger, somehow. I don’t understand how it works, but I’ve seen it happen in myself. Admitting my feelings makes them easier to handle.

When your feelings are overwhelming you, it’s hard to remember that they are transitory. To say it another way: feelings don’t last forever, even though it seems like it sometimes. They will pass, and you’ll feel ok again.

Meanwhile, work on self-care. Focus on things you can do for you, to support yourself through this latest round of whatever it is. Sometimes that will include contacting a safe friend who can encourage you. Sometimes, it may include finding a counselor to help you heal.

I have signs hanging all over my house, reminding me that I am worthy, that I’m here for a reason, and I have something to offer the world. Some are printed, but some are just little pieces of paper that I’ve stuck to the wall or the door - somewhere I’ll be sure to see it.

One of my favorite mantras when I was a young adult was IALAC - I am loveable and capable.

You are, too. And you’re going to make it through this challenge, because that’s what you do. After all, your current record for surviving bad times is 100%.

And you’re not alone, no matter how it feels.

I see you. I hear you. I feel your pain. And I am wrapping you in the biggest virtual bear-hug you’ve ever had.

You can do this.

Hang in there.

Remember - You are loveable and capable. And you are not alone.